9th July 2010, Friday, Week 2 Day 2

And the cast says goodbye. My good ol' ankle is back again, though it's still swollen, and dry. But at least it's BREATHING.

One more thing.

I'm bored.

7th July 2010, Wednesday, Week 1 Day 7

Oh yea, I'm home alright. Home sweet home.

Had something to blog about, but i guess i'm not really in the mood right now. So.... TOMORROW IT IS THEN.

For now, MAPLE. 

5th July 2010, Monday, Week 1 Day 5

Doctor says i'll be discharged on Wed. I guess i'm kinda happy, but my hopes aren't high. After all, they first told me i could go home today. Oh wells.

The nausea-thingy feeling is still there, though i'm not really vomiting anymore. I mean, it's not even nausea, it's just a very wrong feeling in the chest, which by the way, sucks, a lot.

So yea, my life. I sleep, I eat, I play, I sleep, I eat, and I play again, and sleep, again, and eat, and play. And sleep. It just goes on. How i wish i could walk again ASAP, so that i can do other stuff. Like walk. and eat, and play, and sleep.

ARGH.

I will be a happy man. Because i can be a happy man.

4th July 10, Sunday, Week 1 Day 4

I guess it's time i faced the truth that yes, I do have cancer. Though i don't really see the need to broadcast this to the whole world, i figure there wouldn't be much point to hide it from whoever anyway.

So yes, to anyone curious enough, I have Hodgkin's lymphoma*, and am currently under chemotherapy treatment.

* Lymph-node cancer.

Everyone's telling me to cheer up, which, i admit, is rather tough in my case, what with the chemo side-effects; nausea being the worst of it. It's currently Day 4 of my first chemo injection, and I can tell you this, whatever physical complaints that i've had before this is nothing compared to what i've been through these 4 days.

Doctor says i have to go through at least 12 sessions of chemo, which means 11 more sessions of hell. But also, hell that will save my life. I'll live through this, yes i will.

29th Oct 2009

Just some random thoughts. It's actually kind of funny that at my age, if i were to actually reminisce about my life, all these 18 years and everything that happened inbetween, i could well end up tearing.

It's weird though, it feels like part of my brain has lived well over 50 years. While the other smaller portion thinks as if it's a 5 year old. Maybe it's just me, but i feel like i shouldn't belong to this age group. Perhaps an excuse i came up for being the school-hating me that i am.

Oh, another random thought. I was thinking how sucky it was to be a teen. As a teen we have our "teen" problems to deal with, in addition to the new "adult" problems surfacing, and we're lacking in experience for both sorts. So yea, enjoy your life, adults. We're not getting it smooth here either.

5th October 2009

It's like getting slapped right in the face. How could I have not realised? Such a deep hole i have fell into. And even so i constantly dig downwards, without a clue as to how deep i've gotten. But now, as I put the spade into the soil for the last time, I sense heat, I sense magma.

Holy shit. What have i done.

22nd September 2009

It's been a while now, has it not? Been a while since all the events, good or bad, happened.

I'm not really sure myself, but i was wondering if i've changed. Changed into a different person. Who am i to judge, though?

They always say "People change". I knew. But i didn't want to change. Tried my best to stay as I always was. And yet, it may be because i held on so much onto the old me that i am unable to move on. To mature. To grow up. To adapt to the changing surroundings. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?

Ever since J1, i've been starting to hate this society more. This so-called meritocratic society. I can't even come up with a reason to like it. I was naive then, to think that there were so many people that i could trust. That i could at least communicate with without doubting their sincerity. That could in the least be a decent friend. Naive, was I not?

This elitism society. Ultimate bullshit.